The Pirate's Priest
by Kaija West
Summary: Jack trys Norrington's patience when he comes asking for a favor.


Haven't posted anything in ages ... probably since I've written next to nothing. Here's a little ficlet I did to try out that dialogue only style. I like reading dialogue only stuff but hated writing it, probably never do it again. My apologies for the formatting, I did the best I could within the confines of fanfiction dot net.

Don't own, no money made, etc.

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The Pirate's Priest

"Just so that we're absolutely clear Mister Sparrow ... You want ME to listen to your problems?"

"Tha's right ... Well, not so much listen as give me your opinion, see?"

"No, I certainly don't. Haven't you got a crew now? Can they not lend an ear?"

"Tha's true, but it's not the sort of thing I want them privy to, eh? Now if I had a Commodore of the British Royal Navy aboard then it might be a different story-"

"So you're here looking to gain information of a tactical nature then?"

"Calm down now James, no need you getting your pretty peacock feathers all ruffled up."

_sigh_ "WHAT ... DO ... YOU ... WANT ... SPARROW?"

"You needn't speak as if were daft, after all, I came all the way to Port Royale to talk to you."

_growl_ "WHY!?!"

"Now who's soundin' daft? Like I said, Commodore, I came 'ere TO TALK ... TO ... YOU."

_sigh_ "Yes we've established that, Sparrow. Now ... unless you'd like to find your neck adorned by a rope and your feet dangling in the air, I suggest you stop this circular nonsense and get to the point."

"All right, all right, no need getting' all upset. Honestly Commodore, you really must work on the unflappable presence of yours, it's slipping some since we last spoke."

"If you don't start explaining yourself something else is going to be flapping come dawn."

"Don't glare at me boots! They don't like that." _Sniff_

"---"

"Alright, I tell ye then, James. I've need to discuss some things that I can't be talking to my crew 'bout."

"What sort of things? You know I won't give you any information about other vessels - Navy or merchant."

"No, no is not that at all. It's more of a ... uh, it's a more personal nature."

"So tell Turner then. You took him with you, surely you've corrupted him sufficiently to make him withstand your pirate's tales."

"Aye, well that's rather it actually."

"Meaning?"

"---"

"Captain Sparrow, contrary to what you may think, I haven't got all day to sit around listening to wanted pirates who won't just spit out their purpose."

"Eh! I'm not wanted now. Took care of that with the letter, remember?"

_loud sigh_ "I very much wish I could forget. Alright then, I haven't the time to sit around all day listening to very UN-wanted pirates."

"If I didn't know better Commodore, I'd almost be left wif the impression tha' you didn't want me 'ere."

"Whatever might give you that idea, Mister Sparrow?"

"I 'ear that tone. Good thing I know you're jokin', eh?"

"Mmm Hmm."

"Right then, well you see, James-"

"Commodore Norrington."

"Right, I 'aven't forgotten, James. Tha's part of the reason I wanted to talk to you."

"Mmm Hmm. Would it help speed this so called conversation along any if I were to ask you again what it is you wish to speak to me about?"

"All in good time, Commodore. See the thing is, I can't talk to anybody else about these personal things. I can't talk to the crew less they come to disrespect me for puttin' such things into words."

"So you can't talk to your crew. You said you can't talk to Mr. Turner either?"

"Tha's right. Not 'bout this."

"Well if it's so 'personal' as you say, then why not one of the tavern wenches you undoubtedly employ the services of?"

"No, can't let them be starting rumors about ol' Jack."

"So it's personal, yet you can't talk about it with your crew, your first mate, or a lady who shares your bed?"

"Yeah."

"Perhaps you could go burden a priest with this 'problem'?"

"Well, aside from the fact that they'd lock the doors if they saw me coming on account of my reputation ... No, wouldn't be quite right."

"How's that?"

"People, normal average people, they go to a priest and confess all manner of nasty and deviant sins. I know tha's true."

"Ah yes, I remember reading the charges."

"Aye. But what I'm gettin' at is this: the man, the priest, he professes to claims to 'ave no familiarity with those very carnal acts yet there he is, proclaiming them absolved of those sins."

"I suppose that's accurate in a way."

"It is."

"I fail to see any sort of connection here, Sparrow."

"See the priest claims he doesn't partake in certain things, certain "activities" shall we say that would be frowned upon by his profession as it were, and yet, there he is, listening to all that."

"You've already made that point clear."

"Well ... that wouldn't be so very different from a pirate speaking with a commodore would it?"

"... W-what?"

"I want you to listen to what I have to say, James. I need someone to speak with about some personal matters."

"I am NOT the person you need to bring this to, Jack."

"You're not a pirate tha's true, yet I know you understand some things the way a priest is not really such a stranger to carnal sins. You understand what I'm getting at, hmm?"

"Captain Sparrow, just because I arranged that letter for you – and I'll have you know it was only at Elizabeth's insistence that I did so - does not mean you can come here, into my place of work, unannounced, and expect me to give you some kind of absolution for your ... sins, or whatever it is you think you need to tell me about."

"---"

"Don't give me that look, Jack."

"---"

"I mean it."

"---"

"I could have you thrown out and hanged right this minute!"

"---"

_sigh_ "Alright. Fine. What is it then? What was so important you had to come all the way to Port Royale to see me about? What could you possible need to talk about that nobody else could be your audience?"

"Oh, nothing."

"What do you mean nothing!?!"

"Well nothing YET, good Commodore. Just wanted to make sure I had a sounding board for when I do."

"---"

"'S only a matter of time wif me before I'll have need of your services, just wanted to be sure you'd be willing."

"---"

"Alright, well I'm off then. Be seeing you soon I'd wager. After all, they say I'm always getting into something, right?"

... _growl_

THE END


End file.
